The Golden Orchid Essay

Homosexual behavior has been observed in animals as different as fruit flies and sheep. It is therefore hardly surprising that homosexuality has been observed in human societies all over the world. Chinese civilization is no exception. Its 4000-year history and rich literary tradition has yielded extensive records of homosexual behavior between individuals of all social classes.

We present here a a small sample of of homosexual relationships mentioned in the non-fiction literature - such as historical annals and records of traditions - written in Imperial China. The relationships mentioned in these writings range from the sublime to the profane. In homosexual pairings, as in heterosexual pairings, dedicated lifelong bonds exist alongside relationships driven by opportunism and lust.

1.1. Woman-woman marriage-like ceremony in the Golden Orchid Society of Guangdong (Canton)

"A Record of the Customs of All China" by Hu Pu'an, first published in 2 volumes in 1773-1774, contains the following account of Golden Orchid Associations, women-only associations that practiced marriage-like ceremonies among its members. This custom was practiced by women in the Canton (Guangdong) province of China:1

The practice of the Golden Orchid Oath is known by the common name of "Heart-to-heart Friends" and also called "Making Friends". It is not known when this custom started... If two parties have mutual intentions towards each other, one party would prepare peanut candy, honey dates and other things as an offering of honor, to express (her) intentions. If the other party accepts, she makes a promise to indicate her assent. A refusal of the gift indicates a "no".

At the time of executing (their) vow, if the parties have (sufficient) resources, they will invite many friends over to drink through the night. And these friends also come in droves to congratulate them. After the writing (of the contract), (the parties) are practically each other's shadow in sitting, lying down, rising, and living. Even Liang Hong and Meng Guang could not have surpassed their joy.2 Once the vow is established, if (one or more of the parties) have a change of mind, and are thought to have turned (her/their) backs on (her/their) oath, the female collective would rally as a punishing army, often beating and humiliating (the offender/s); it is almost their custom (to do so).

胡朴安《中华全国风俗志.广东》:

金兰契俗名夸相知,又名识朋友,其俗不知始于何时......如双方颇有意,其一方必先备花生糖、蜜枣等物为致敬品,以为意思之表示。若其他方既受纳,好为承诺,否则为拒绝。至履行契约时,如有积蓄者,或遍请朋侪作长夜饮,而其朋侪,亦群往贺之。写后坐卧起居,无不形影相随,曾梁鸿、孟光不足比其乐也。契约既经成立,或有异志,即以为背约,必兴娘子军为问罪之师,常备殴辱,几成一种习惯法。

Golden Orchid members still existed in immigrant Chinese communities (including Singapore) into the earlier half of the 20th century. (Most members are probably deceased by the 21st century) Not all association members pair up with another member. Many women just live as part of the female collective. Some Golden Orchid members are heterosexually married in name, but spend most of their lives away from their husbands.3

Notes:
  1. 金兰契 The Golden Orchid Oath: http://www.china-stemmata.com/CTFS/JLQ.htm

  2. Liang Hong and Meng Guang were a famous husband-and-wife from the Eastern Han era. They are traditionally regarded as an example of the ideal husband/wife relationship. The fact that Hu Pu'an compares the Golden Orchid woman-woman couple favorably against them suggests that he sees the Golden Orchid pair-bonding as equivalent to marriage.

    Liang Hong was a reclusive scholar of high morals and great talent. He supported himself as a swineherd while conducting his studies. Many rich and powerful families admired his character and wanted him for a son-in-law, but he refused them. In the same county lived a woman named Meng Guang. She was dark, fat and ugly. In addition, Meng Guang was surpassingly strong - she could lift a stone mortar with one hand. Up to the age of 30, she still refused marriage. When parents asked her why, she stated firmly that she only wanted to marry a man of Liang Hong's calibre. When Liang Hong heard of this, he was very surprised, and married her. They went on to live a poor but happy life as hermits in the mountains.

    See "梁鸿高逸 Liang Hong's outstanding and high-minded character" http://book.sina.com.cn/longbook/his/1109920504_zhongguodimai/54.shtml

  3. 自梳女与不落家 "Self-combing" women and the "never-home" wife: http://news.21cn.com/social/shixiang/2002-10-23/807403.html

    中国写真:最后的自梳女 一生未嫁不恨男人 China Portrait: The Last "Self-combing" women - unmarried for life but without hatred for men: http://cul.sina.com.cn/t/2004-04-29/54629.html

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1.2. Man-man marriage in Fujian (Hokkien)

The Ming dynasty author Shen Defu wrote in "Miscellaneous Musings of the Humble Broom Bookroom":1

Recently, the "oath sons" phenomenon is catching on. The situation is usually such: some strong adult males have a strong sex drive, so they spend a great deal of money to marry extremely good-looking youths. They establish the bond of the quilt and the coverlet with them. Those arrangements in which the 'father' lives apart and houses several youths in various secondary lodgings are foremost in disorder and sin. I heard this practice started with pirates, as in: The Ocean forbids the presence of women in the crew. Ships with women would be sunk. So they replace (women) with male favorites; and they honor the great and strong (pirates) by addressing (them) as "oath father" ...

The Fujianese take male-male eroticism very seriously. Regardless of his social standing, each man bonds with another man of his own social class; the older one is known as the "sworn older brother" and the younger one is known as the "sworn younger brother". When the older brother enters the home of the younger, the younger brother's parents love him as a son-in-law. In the future, when the younger brother starts a business or marries a wife, the older brother helps pay for the expenses. Those who love each other thus still lie together as spouses after the age of 30.

沈德符 《敝帚斋余谈》:

近乃有称契儿者,则壮夫好淫,辄以多金娶姿首韶秀者,与沟衾裯之好,以父自居,列诸少年于小舍,最为乱逆之尤。闻其事肇于海寇云,大海禁妇人在师中,有之辄遭覆溺,故以男宠代之,而尊豪刚遂称“契父”。 ...

闽人酷重男色,无论贵贱,各以其类相结,长者为“契兄”,少者为“契弟”。其兄入弟家,弟之父母抚爱如婿,弟日后生计及娶妻诸费,俱取办于“契兄”,其相爱者,年过而立者,尚寝处如伉俪。

Unlike the woman-woman traditional unions, men's traditional unions were not intended to be lifelong bonds exclusive of heterosexual marriage.

Notes:
  1. 从皇帝到庶民的男风 Male-male eroticism from the emperors to the commoners http://www.bookfree.com.cn/shenghuo/jiankang/ldl-zggdxwh/052.htm

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2.1. Lord An Ling and King Xuan of Chu

An excerpt from Book of the Warring States:1

Jiang Yi spoke to Lord An Ling, saying "You have no land and no blood kin (in the Kingdom of Chu) and yet you have a high position and a generous income. On seeing you, there is none in this kingdom who does not tidy his/her clothes and adjust his/her cap and bow down to you. Why is this so?" An Ling replied, "The king has promoted me beyond what I deserve. Without (his favor), I would not be where I am."

Jiang Yi spoke, "Those who make friends with money will lose their friends when their money runs out. As for those who build relationships using their beauty - when the flower wilts, love will cease. This is why female sexual favorites never stay long enough to wear out their sleeping mats, and favored courtiers don't stay around long enough for their chariots to need repair. Today, you hold power in this country, but yet you have nothing with which to tie the king to you. I am worried for your well-being." Lord An Ling asked, "Then what should I do?"

Jiang Yi said, "I hope you will request to follow the king in death. Use your body as a sacrifice. This way, you will be respected in the land of Chu for a long time to come." An Ling replied, "I will respect your command."

Three years passed without An Ling speaking of the matter. Jiang Yi met with him again and said, "Up to now, you have not executed what I told you to do. If you will not use my plan, then I request that I not be asked to see you again." Lord An Ling said, "I did not dare to forget your words; I simply did not have the opportunity to do what you had suggested."

It came to pass, that the King of Chu was touring Yunmeng. The horses and carriages in his entourage numbered at a thousand, and their banners were so many that they blocked the sun. The burning brush fire seemed as a rainbow, the tigers' roaring sounded like thunder. A crazed wild ox came close to the chariot wheel. The king himself drew his bow and shot it, killing it with one arrow. The king pulled up a banner with one hand and held the head of the ox in the other, raised his face to the heavens and laughed, "What a pleasure is today's tour! After ten thousand years and a thousand autumns, who will share this pleasure with me?"

Lord An Ling shed many tears and came to him, saying, "In the palace, I sit at your side. When you go out, I accompany you in your chariot. After ten thousand years and a thousand autumns, I will test the yellow springs (the world of the dead) with my body, and shield you from the ants. What greater joy can I have?" The king was pleased and gave him the title of Lord An Ling.

People who heard about this commented, "Jiang Yi can be said to be good at strategizing, and Lord An Ling can be said to be good at seizing the moment."

战国策·江乙说于安陵君:

江乙说于安陵君曰:“君无咫尺之地,骨肉之亲,处尊位,受厚禄,一国之众,见君莫不敛衽而拜,抚委而服,何以也?”曰:“王过举而已。不然,无以至此。”

江乙曰:“以财交者,财尽而交绝;以色交者,华落而爱渝;是以嬖女不敝席,宠臣不避轩。今君擅楚国之势,而无以深自结于王,窃为君危之。”安陵君曰:“然则奈何?”江乙曰:“愿君必请从死,以身为殉,如是必长得重于楚国。”曰:“谨受令。”

三年而弗言。江乙复见曰:“臣所为君道,至今未效。君不用臣之计,臣请不敢复见矣。”安陵君曰:“不敢忘先生之言,未得间也。”

于是,楚王游于云梦,结驷千乘,旌旗蔽日,野火之起也若云霓,虎嗥之声若雷霆,有狂兕(牛羊)车依轮而至,王亲引弓而射,壹发而殪。王抽旃旄而抑兕首,仰天而笑曰:“乐矣,今日之游也!寡人万岁千秋之后,谁与乐此矣?”安陵君泣数行而进曰:“臣入则纶席,出则陪乘。大王万岁千秋之后,愿得以身试黄泉,蓐蝼蚁,又何如得此乐而乐之。”王大说,乃封坛为安陵君。君子闻之曰:“江乙可谓善谋,安陵君可谓知时矣。”

Notes:
  1. 《谋略与雄辩宝典- 战国策 精华全解析》· 江乙说于安陵君 The Best of "Book of the Warring States" Explained - Jiang Yi advises Lord An Ling http://www.guoxue.com/xstj/zgcjx/1403.htm

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2.2. Mizi Xia and King Ling of Wei

Mizi Xia is one of the most well-known icons of male homosexual love in antiquity. Later, the term "love of the divided peach" “分桃之爱”, originating from an incident between Mizi Xia and King Ling of Wei, was used to refer to male-male love. This incident was recorded in 《韩非子·说难篇》 and 刘向's 《说苑》.1

An excerpt from The Collected Articles of Han Feizi", Essay 12 - Shuonan":2

There was a certain Mizi Xia who had the favor of the King of Wei. The law of Wei stated: "Whoever drives the king's carriage without permission will be punished with feet amputation." Mizi Xia's mother fell ill. Someone came and informed him during the night. Mizi secretly drove the King's carriage to go (to see her). When the King heard of it, he praised Mizi Xia, saying, "How well brought up he is! For the sake of his mother, he disregards the sentence of amputation!" Another day, Mizi Xia was touring an orchard with the king. He tasted a peach and found it sweet. Since he had not finished the peach, he offered the remaining half of it to the king to taste. The king said, "How much he loves me! He disregards his own appetite so that I can have a taste!" Later, Mizi's looks faded and the king's love declined. He offended the king and the king said, "In the past, he rode my carriage without permission, and also gave me a leftover peach to taste." Mizi Xia's conduct in later times did not change from his behavior in the beginning. He was judged worthy previously and then judged guilty later because of the change in the king's favor.

《韩非子》 说难第十二:3

昔者弥子瑕有宠於卫君。卫国之法:窃驾君车者刖。弥子瑕母病,人间往夜告弥子,弥子矫驾君车以出。君闻而贤之,曰:“教哉!为母之故,亡其刖罪。”异日,与君游於果围,食桃而甘,不尽,以其半啖君。君曰:“爱我哉!亡其口味以啖寡人。”及弥子色衰爱弛,得罪於君,君曰:“是固尝矫驾吾车,又尝啖我以馀桃。”故弥子之行未变於初也,而以前之所以见贤而后获罪者,爱憎之变也

Notes:
  1. 探密:古代同性恋男宠的最初记载 Uncovering Secrets: The earliest records of homosexual male favorites in antiquity http://www.sznews.com/n3/ca1686682.htm

  2. 韩非(约前280—前233)是韩国的贵族,后世称他为韩非子。他和李斯都是荀子的弟子。当韩非写了《孤愤》《五蠹》等一系列文章,这些作品后来集为《韩非子》一书。See 韩非子简介 A Brief Introduction to Han Feizi http://www.3lian.com/zl/2004/7-25/23048.html

  3. Full text of 《韩非子》 说难第十二 is available online at http://www.guoxue.com/zibu/hanfeizi/hfz012.htm

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2.3. Lord Long Yang

Lord Long Yang 龙阳君 is one of the most romanticised icons of male-male love from the Warring States period. Hundreds of years later, the famous Three Kingdoms poet Ruan Ji would write poems extolling this ancient beauty.1 The term Long Yang is still used today as a term for a pretty boy in a homosexual relationship.

An excerpt from The History of Wei, Book IV, Chapter 25:2

King (Anli) of Wei was fishing in a boat with Lord Long Yang. Lord Long Yang caught more than 10 fish and began to weep. The king asked, "Is there something troubling you? If so, why don't you tell me?" He replied: "Your servant dares not be troubled." The king inquired, "Then why do you weep?" He said "Your subject is like a fish that my king has caught." The King said, "Why do you say so?"

Long Yang answered, "When I first caught a fish, I was happy. But when I landed a bigger catch, I wanted to abandon what I had previously caught. Now I am of unpleasant appearance; yet I gained the opportunity of brushing the king's pillow and mat. Today I hold a noble title, I can walk in the Court, and people make way for me on the street. But within the four seas, there are many beautiful people. Those who hear that I have your intimate favor will surely raise their garments and hasten to my king. I also worry that I would be as the fish I have caught; I too will be abandoned. Can I not weep?"

The king said, "It is not so. If you had such a heart, why did you not confide in me?" And he decreed to all within the four corners of his realm that "Whoever dares to speak of (another) beauty (would have his/her entire) family (executed)."

《魏四》 卷二十五:

魏王与龙阳君共船而钓,龙阳君得十余鱼而涕下。王曰:“有所不安乎?如是,何不相告也?”对曰:“臣无敢不安也。” 王曰:“然则何为涕出?”曰:“臣为王之所得鱼也。”王曰:“何谓也?”对曰:“臣之始得鱼也,臣甚喜,后得又益大,今臣直欲弃臣前之所得矣。今以臣凶恶,而得为王拂枕席。今臣爵至人君,走人于庭,辟人于途。四海之内,美人亦甚多矣,闻臣之得幸于王也,必褰裳而趋王。臣亦犹曩臣之前所得鱼也,臣亦将弃矣,臣安能无涕出乎?”魏王曰:“误!有是心也,何不相告也?”于是布令于四境之内,曰:“有敢言美人者,族。”

Notes:
  1. 中国上古文献中的同性恋事例 Same sex love in ancient Chinese literature http://www.fx120.net/lxkj/lxzt/txzl/200406031409574722.htm

  2. For original text and a modern Chinese explanation, see http://myqf.nease.net/gengyusuoji/guocexuan/106.htm

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2.4. Cao Gong and Dao Fang, women of the Han harem

The Book of Han records a "对食" (ate facing each other) bond between Cao Gong and Dao Fang, two women in the harem of Emperor Cheng of Han. The commentator Ying Shao explained "对食" refers to a marriage-like bonding between two people in the imperial harem - either two women or a woman and an eunuch. 1

From Chapter 97 of The Book of Han "Record of Imperial Relatives By Marriage, Section 67B":2

The official Jie Guang reported (to Emperor Ai): "I heard Fair Lady Xu and Cao Gong who is an aide in the Center Palace, both received the favor of Emperor Cheng (the previous emperor) and produced sons, but the children have disappeared mysteriously. I sent my aides to question those who knew of the matter. They took them to Ji Wu, the deputy of the palace prison. Among them were the fomer palace attendants Wang Shun, Wu Gong, Jin Yan; the official maidservants Cao Xiao, Dao Fang and Zhang Qi, the attendants of the former Imperial Wife Zhao - Yu Kezi, Wang Pian, Zang Jian etc. They all said Cao Gong knew the affairs of men and women and that she was formerly assigned to the Center Palace as a learning aide. She was well-versed in The Book of Poetry and served instructed the empress. Fang and Gong ate facing each other...

汉书·卷九十三·佞幸传第六十三:

司隶解光奏言: 臣闻许美人及故中宫史曹宫皆御幸孝成皇帝,产子,子隐不见。 臣遣从事掾业、史望验问知状者掖庭狱丞籍武,故中黄门王舜、吴恭、靳严,官婢曹晓、道房、张弃,故赵昭仪御者于客子、王偏、臧兼等,皆曰宫即晓子女,前属中宫,为学事史,通《诗》,授皇后。房与宫对食...

Notes:
  1. The history of the expression 对食 http://www.china-stemmata.com/DWGT/DS.htm

  2. 汉书·卷九十七下·外戚传第六十七下 The Book of Han: Chapter 93 http://www.shulu.net/gd/hs/107.htm

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2.5. Male Favorites of the Han Dynasty

The Book of Han, written by Ban Gu of the Han Dynasty, dedicates an entire chapter to the records the deeds and influences of the major male sexual favorites of the Han emperors.1

From Chapter 93 of The Book of Han "Record of those who obtain favor by skillful flattery":

Since the beginning of Han, (the emperors) patronized favored courtiers. The Founding Emperor Gao had the boy Ji, Emperor Xiaohui had the boy Hong. These two people had no talent and ability, but with their charm and flattery, they gained the emperor's favor, and lay down and rose up with the ruler. During Xiaohui's time, the male palace attendants all wore feathrered hats and belts of precious stones, and powdered their faces after the mannre of Min and Ji. The two followed the example of Lord Anling. After them, the favored courtiers were:

  • During the reign of Emperor Wen, there was the man Deng Tong,and the eunuchs Zhao Tan and Beigong Bozi.
  • During the reign of Emperor Wu, there was the man Han Yan, and the eunuch Li Yannian
  • During the reign of Emperor Yuan, there were the eunuchs Hong Gong and Shi Xian
  • During the reign of Emperor Cheng, there were the men Zhang Fang and Chun Yuchang
  • During the reign of Emperor Ai, there was Dong Xian
  • During the reign Emperors Jing, Zhao and Xuan there were no major favored courtiers. Emperor Jing only had the official Ling Zhouren. During the time of Emperor Zhao, Duke Jin Shang, who held the position of Manager of Horses for the Imperial Attendant Carriages, inherited the noble title of Duke from his father Ridan, General of the War Chariots. These two gained extraordinary favor (with the emperor) and were not sincere or honest. During the reign of Emperor Xuan, there was Zhang Pengzhu, an official of the Inner Court. He studied at the same desk with the Emperor (then still a prince) when they were young. When the Emperor ascended the throne, he was appointed Marquis of Yangdu in consideration of their old friendship. He often rode with the Emperor in the same carriage when the Emperor went out. It was said he had the Emperor's love and favor. This individual was cautious about respecting the Imperial Orders, and so not suffer any damage...

汉书·卷九十三·佞幸传第六十三:

汉兴,佞幸2宠臣,高祖时则有籍孺,孝惠有闳孺。此两人非有材能,但以婉媚贵幸,与上卧起,公卿皆因关说。故孝惠时,郎侍中皆冠鵕鸃,贝带,傅脂粉,化闳、籍之属也。两人徙家安陵。其后宠臣,孝文时士人则邓通,宦者则赵谈、北宫伯子;孝武时士人则韩嫣,宦者则李延年;孝元时宦者则弘恭、石显;孝成时士人则张放、淳于长;孝哀时则有董贤。孝景、昭、宣时皆无宠臣。景帝唯有郎中令周仁。昭帝时,驸马都尉秺侯金赏嗣父车骑将军日磾爵为侯,二人之宠取过庸,不笃。宣帝时,侍中中郎将张彭祖少与帝微时同席研书,及帝即尊位,彭祖以旧恩封阳都侯,出常参乘,号为爱幸。其人谨敕,无所亏损...

The rest of Chapter 93 goes into more detail about the relationship of individual favorites with the Emperor.

Notes:
  1. 汉书·卷九十三·佞幸传第六十三 The Book of Han: Chapter 93 http://www.shulu.net/gd/hs/107.htm

  2. The word 佞, as used in the Han Dynasty, implies homosexual favor.

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2.6. Dong Xian and Emperor Ai of Han

Of all the male favorites of the Han emperors, Dong Xian is probably the most well-known. The expression "a preference for the truncated sleeve" 断袖之癖, which is still used today as an euphemism for male homosexuality, originates from the story of Dong Xian and Emperor Ai.

Chapter 93 of The Book of Han: Record of those who obtain favor by skillful flattery

Dong Xian, whose moniker was Shengqing, was a native of Yunyang. His father Gong was an Imperial Investigative Officer. He gave Dong Xian the job of attendant to the Crown Prince (who would become Emperor Ai). When Emperor Ai ascended the throne, Xian remained in his entourage. A little more than two years later, he was making a report outside the palace hall – he was beautiful and narcissistic - when Emperor Ai saw him and remarked on his manners and looks. He recognized Dong Xian and asked, "Isn't this the attendant Dong Xian?" Dong Xian was summoned to speak with the Emperor, who made him an Official-in-waiting. This was the beginning of his favor.

The Emperor then asked after Dong Xian's father, and the next day he made him Mayor of Baling and 光禄大夫. Dong Xian's favor increased daily and he was made Manager of Horses for the Imperial Attendant Carriages. He often rode in the same carriage with the Emperor when the Emperor went out. In the palace, he was always around the Emperor. In the space of 10 days to a month, the Emperor had bestowed upon him riches worth many tens of thousands. His honor and power shook the entire court.

He was often with the Emperor, whether standing up or lying down. Once, Dong Xian was napping across the Emperor's sleeve. When the Emperor wanted to get up, Dong Xian was unaware. The Emperor did not want to disturb Xian, so he truncated his sleeve and rose up.

汉书·卷九十三·佞幸传第六十三:

董贤,字圣卿,云阳人也,父恭,为御史,任贤为太子舍人。哀帝立,贤随太子官为郎。二岁余,传漏在殿下,为人美丽自喜,哀帝望见,说其仪貌,识而问之,曰:“是舍人董贤邪?”因引上与语,拜为黄门郎,由是始幸。问及其父,即日征为霸陵令,迁光禄大夫。贤宠爱日甚,为驸马都尉侍中,出则参乘,入御左右,旬月间赏赐累 巨万,贵震朝廷。常与上起卧。又尝昼寝,偏藉上袖,上欲起,贤未觉,不欲动贤,乃断袖而起。

Notes:
  1. 汉书·卷九十三·佞幸传第六十三 The Book of Han: Chapter 93 http://www.shulu.net/gd/hs/107.htm

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2.7. Cao Cao and Kong Gui

Chronicles of the Three Kingdoms: Chapter 3 of The Book of Wei:1

An Overview of The History of Wei lists Lang and Kong Gui in the "Favored Male Courtiers" section.2 He went by the moniker of Shulin. He was a native of Tianshui. At the beginning of the Jian An era, the general Yang Qiu had a mandate from the founding king (Cao Cao) and the king gave Gui the position of cavalry commander. Gui, by nature was law-abiding , and knew how to play chess...

Cao Cao loved him. He was always at the king's side. He followed the king's going out and coming in. Gui paid close attention to the king's desires and good moods. Because he could make speeches explaining the details of a matter clearly, most of his undertakings went smoothly, and he received many rewards. Many people gave him gifts, thus he was always dressed like a duke and ate on jade plates. Not only did the founding king loved Gui, the courtiers, military officers and nobles all sought good relations with him.

三國志卷三·魏書三:

魏略以朗與孔桂俱在佞倖篇。桂字叔林,天水人也。建安初,數為將軍楊秋使詣太祖,太祖表拜騎都尉。桂性便辟,曉博弈、 鞠,故太祖愛之,每在左右,出入隨從。桂察太祖意,喜樂之時,因言次曲有所陳,事多見從,數得賞賜,人多餽遺,桂由此侯服玉食。太祖既愛桂,五官將及諸侯亦皆親之。

Kong Gui and Cao Cao were mentioned in "External Passions", a chapter from A History of Passion dedicated to male-male lust and love.

Notes:
  1. 三國志卷三·魏書三 Chronicles of the Three Kingdoms: Chapter 3 of The Book of Wei http://www.chistory.org/book/p03cao03.htm

  2. 佞倖, translated here as 'favored male courtiers' has a sexual connotation, and usually refers to male sexual favorites of rulers, high-ranking officials and generals.

回目录

2.8. Cao Rui and Qin Lang

Cao Rui (King Ming of Wei) was the grandson of Cao Cao. Qin Lang was a cavalry general. Another one of Cao Rui's supposed affairs (with his cousin Cao Zhao, also a cavalry officer) was mentioned in The History of Passion,1 but the official history contains no mention the Cao Zhao/Cao Rui pairing. The fondness of Cao Rui for Qing Lang, however, can be found in the historical records of Wei.

Chronicles of the Three Kingdoms: Chapter 3 of The Book of Wei:2

The Spring and Autumn of the Wei Clan states: Lang's moniker is Yuanming. He was a native of Xinxing. The biography of Emperor Xian of Han states that Lang's father's name was Yilu. Qin Yilu was sent by Lu Bu to take a message to Yuan Su. Su gave him a wife from the Han Imperial House. Yilu's ex-wife Madam Du was left behind in Xiapi.

While besieging Lu Bu, Guan Yu asked Cao Cao to give him Madam Du as wife. Cao Cao suspected that Madam Du was a great beauty. After the city fell, Cao Cao saw Madam Du and took her into his harem. Yilu surrendered to Cao Cao. At that time, Liu Bei had gone to Xiaopei. Zhang Fei planned on following him and said to Yilu. "Someone took your wife. And you are still serving that someone? What a worm you are! Why don't you come with me to Xiaopei?" Yilu followed him for a few miles, then regretted his decision and wanted to turn back. Zhang killed him.

Lang lived with his mother in Cao Cao's palace. Cao Cao loved him very much. At every banquet, he would ask the guests, saying, "Is there anyone in the world who loves a stepson as much as I do?" An Overview of The History of Wei states: "Lang roamed freely among the nobles, and his presence was accepted among all the civil servants and military officers. When King Ming (Cao Rui) came to the throne, Lang was entrusted with access to the inner palace, and given the position of Cavalry General. Lang was often in the king's entourage when the king attended to state business, or went out in his chariot. Sometimes King Ming took delight in declaring an amnesty. The pardoned criminals ranged from those who had committed minor offenses to those who had broken major laws. Lang could not admonish the king into quitting this practice, yet he was unable to recommend even one innocent person (to be pardoned).

The king was on intimate terms with him. Every time he asked after Lang's well-being, he would call him by his pet name A Su. The king gave him many rewards and built him a great residence in the capital. Although everyone around knew that Lang had no power to do them favors, they still tried to get close to him to share in his honor. Many left him bribes and he was as rich as a noble..."

Lang and Kong Gui were both listed in the "Favored Male Courtiers" section of An Overview of The History of Wei.3

三國志卷三·魏書三:

魏氏春秋曰:朗字元明,新興人。獻帝傳曰:朗父名宜祿,為呂布使詣袁術,術妻以漢宗室女。其前妻杜氏留下邳。布之被圍,關羽屢請於太祖,求以杜氏為妻,太祖疑其有色,及城陷,太祖見之,乃自納之。宜祿歸降,以為銍長。及劉備走小沛,張飛隨之,過謂宜祿曰:「人取汝妻,而為之長,乃蚩蚩若是邪!隨我去乎?」宜祿從之數里,悔欲還,飛殺之。朗隨母氏畜于公宮,太祖甚愛之,每坐席,謂賓客曰:「世有人愛假子如孤者乎?」魏略曰:朗游遨諸侯間,歷武、文之世而無尤也。及明帝即位,授以內官,為驍騎將軍、給事中,每車駕出入,朗常隨從。時明帝喜發舉,數有以輕微而致大辟者,朗終不能有所諫止,又未嘗進一善人,帝亦以是親愛;每顧問之,多呼其小字阿穌,數加賞賜,為起大第於京城中。四方雖知朗無能為益,猶以附近至尊,多賂遺之,富均公侯。世語曰:朗子秀,勁厲能直言,為晉武帝博士。魏略以朗與孔桂俱在佞倖篇。

Notes:
  1. 《情史》 http://pastbook.diy.myrice.com/story/rdonline/qingshi.htm

  2. 三國志卷三·魏書三 Chronicles of the Three Kingdoms: Chapter 3 of The Book of Wei http://www.chistory.org/book/p03cao03.htm

  3. 佞倖, translated here as 'favored male courtiers' has a sexual connotation, and usually refers to male sexual favorites of rulers, high-ranking officials and generals.

回目录

2.9. Sheng Ge and Alihu, cross-dressing and a lesbian affair in the Jin Dynasy Court

An excerpt from The History of the Jin Dynasty, Series 1, "Empresses and Imperial Wives (Part 1)":1

All the Imperial Wives had maidservants who dressed in men's clothes; these were called "false page boys." (Among these) was a certain Sheng Ge who lay down and rose up with Alihu (an Imperial Wife) like husband and wife. The kitchen maid San Niang told Hai Ling (the Emperor) about it, but Hai Ling did not consider it an offence. He only warned Alihu not to beat San Niang. But Alihu had her clubbed to death.

Hai Ling heard that someone had died in Alihu's compound, and guessed it was San Niang. He said, "If the matter is as I have guessed, then I must kill Alihu." Upon inquiry, it turned out to be true. That month was the month of Guang Ying's (the Crown Prince's) birthday. Hai Ling had a private taboo against killing (during that month). Alihu heard Hai Ling was going to execute her, so she fasted, burned incense and prayed daily in the hope of avoiding death. The following month, Alihu was already beside herself. Hai Ling ordered that Alihu be strangled, and also executed the maidservants who attacked San Niang.1

金史列·传第一·后妃上:

凡诸妃位皆以侍女服男子衣冠,号“假厮兒”。有胜哥者,阿里虎与之同卧起,如夫妇。厨婢三娘以告海陵,海陵不以为过,惟戒阿里虎勿笞箠三娘。阿里虎榜杀之。海陵闻昭妃閤有死者,意度是三娘,曰:“若果尔,吾必杀阿里虎。”问之,果然。是月,光英生月,海陵私忌,不行戮。阿里虎闻海陵将杀之也,即不食,日焚香祷祝,冀脱死。逾月,阿里虎已委顿不知所为,海陵使人缢杀之,并杀侍婢击三娘者。

Hailing reigned from 1149-1161. The Jin Dynasty was established by the Jurchen ethnic group in northern China. Alihu and Sheng Ge are Jurchen names.

Notes:
  1. 金史列·传第一·后妃上 The History of the Jin Dynasty, Series 1, Empresses and Imperial Wives (Part 1) http://www.guoxue.com/shibu/24shi/jingshi/js_063.htm

回目录

Historians see Long Yang, An Ling Mizi Xia and Dong Xian as political opportunists who shamelessly courted the favor of rulers, gaining high office without proper qualifications. Their royal lovers are remembered as men of poor judgment. It should be noted, however, that Chinese historians give the same treatment to the female favorites of rulers - the historical beauties Yang Guifei, Bao Si and Da Yi were blamed for causing political chaos, and the rulers who loved them were portrayed as men of excessive appetites and foolish priorities. Although royal love affairs usually make it into the history books because of the damage they caused, not all Chinese records of male-male lovers focused on dubious characters. Some examples follow in the next section.

3.1. Han Zigao and King Wen of Chen

Han Zigao was a soldier (and later general) who served King Wen of the Chen dynasty before King Wen gained the throne. Their close relationship continued after the King's ascension to the throne. Although the official historical record did not explicitly indicate a sexual relationship between the two, their relationship inspired a piece of homoerotic 野史 historical fiction 《陈子高传》Tale of Chen Zigao, and the Ming Dynasty play 《男王后》The King's Male Consort.1 The historical version is presented below to demonstrate that male favorites in high political office are not always unqualified men who do not have the capabilities to match their positions.

Book of Chen "Biographies No.14":2

Han Zigao was originally from the foot of Huiqi Mountain. He was of humble family background. During the rebellion of Hou Ying, he dwelled in Jingdu. After the rebellion of Ying was over, King Wen (not yet king at that time) was posted to Wuxing. Zigao was then 16, and still wore his hair in a child's cut. He was beautiful and looked like a woman. Zigao, then attached to the unit stationed on the banks of the River Huai, wanted to return home. King Wen met with him and asked, "Would you like to enter my service?" Zigao agreed and pledged his allegiance. Zigao's original name was Manzi; King Wen changed his name. By nature he was respectful and discreet. He was diligent in serving, always carrying the king's sabre and executing orders for food and wine.

King Wen was impetuous; Zigao understood him very well. As he grew up, he practiced riding and archery. He was quite bold and decisive, and had the ambition of becoming a military commander. After the rebellion of Du Kan was pacified, Zigao was given soldiers to command. The king favored him very much, and would not let him leave his side. King Wen used to have a dream of riding his horse up a mountain. The road was dangerous but when he was about to fall, Zigao supported him and he continued his ascent.

King Wen went on a campaign against Zhang Biao. Shen Tai etc surrendered first. King Wen held Zhou City and Zhou Wenyu was stationed at the north wall's Xiangyan Temple. Zhang Biao came out of Shan County and counter-attacked the city during the night. King Wen escaped through the north gate. The army was thrown into chaos in the dark night and there was a disturbance among the soldiers. Wenyu too couldn't determine where the king was. Only Zigao remained at his side. King Wen sent Zigao to find Wenyu amidst the disarrayed troops. He returned to report that he had made contact with Wenyu in the dark, and went forth again to comfort and support the troops. King Wen's scattered soldiers reassembled themselves somewhat and Zigao led them into Wenyu's base, where they set up camp together.

The next day, they battled Zhang Biao. Zhang Biao's subcommander Shen Jin surrendered and Biao fled to Pine Mountain. Peace came to the Zhedong region. King Wen put most of his troops under the command of Zigao. Zigao, for his part, held little regard for material rewards, and showed respect for his troops. Many people voluntarily joined his command.

King Wen inherited the throne and appointed Zigao 右军将军. In the first year of the Tianhe period, Zigao was awarded the fief of Wenzhao County, which had a population of 300 households. When (the forces of) Wang Lin came to the gate, Zigao defended the city from his base within; After the Lin rebellion was pacified, the number of troops under Zigao's command increased even further. Zigao made every effort to argue for the advancement of the officers and soldiers who followed him. The king gave appointments to all of them. In the second year, he was appointed 员外散骑常侍、壮武将军、成州刺史. When campaigning against Liu Yi, he was stationed with Hou Andu under the Taozhi Range. At that time, Zigao's troops were strong and well-equipped, and had their own camp. (Liu Yi) entered the land of Chen as a lone rider, with an injury on the left of his neck and half his hair hacked off.

After Yi's rebellion was quashed, Zigao was appointed 假节、贞毅将军、东阳太守. In the fifth year, Zhang Zhaoda etc came out of Linzhou to invade Jin An. Zigao came forth from Anquan Range to meet (the other generals) at Jian An. Among all the generals, he had the strongest forces. After Jin An was pacified, he was promoted to 通直散骑常侍 in recognition for his accomplishments. His noble title was raised to 伯, and the number of households in his fiefdom increased by 400. In the 6th year, he was given the rank of 右卫将军 and came to the capital to head the Department of Defense. When King Wen became ill, Zigao entered (the palace) to attend to his medical care. After King Fei took the throne, he was appointed 散骑常侍; and still continued to hold the position of 右卫. He was transferred to the base at Xin An Temple.

陈书·列传第十四:

韩子高,会稽山阴人也。家本微贱。侯景之乱,寓在京都。景平,文帝出守吴兴,子高年十六,为总角,容貌美丽,状似妇人,淮渚附部伍寄载欲还乡。文帝见而问之,曰“能事我乎?”子高许诺。子高本名蛮子,文帝改名之。性恭谨,勤于侍奉,恒执备身刀及传酒炙。文帝性急,子高恒会意旨。及长,稍习骑射,颇有胆决,愿为将帅,及平杜龛,配以士卒。文帝甚宠爱之,未尝离于左右。文帝尝梦见骑马登山,路危欲堕,子高推捧而升。

文帝之讨张彪也,沈泰等先降,文帝据有州城,周文育镇北郭香岩寺。张彪自剡县夜还袭城,文帝自北门出,仓卒暗夕,军人扰乱,文育亦未测文帝所在,唯子高在侧,文帝乃遣子高自乱兵中往见文育,反命,酬答于暗中,又往慰劳众军。文帝散兵稍集,子高引导入文育营,因共立栅。明日,与彪战,彪将申缙复降,彪奔松山,浙东平。文帝乃分麾下多配子高,子高亦轻财礼士,归之者甚众。

文帝嗣位,除右军将军。天嘉元年,封文招县子,邑三百户。王琳至于栅口,子高宿卫台内。及琳平,子高所统益多,将士依附之者,子高尽力论进,文帝皆任使焉。二年,迁员外散骑常侍、壮武将军、成州刺史。及征留异,随侯安都顿桃支岭岩下。时子高兵甲精锐,别御一营,单马入陈,伤项之左,一髻半落。异平,除假节、贞毅将军、东阳太守。五年,章昭达等自临川征晋安,子高自安泉岭会于建安,诸将中人马最为强盛。晋安平,以功迁通直散骑常侍,进爵为伯,增邑并前四百户。六年,征为右卫将军,至都,镇领军府。文帝不豫,入侍医药。废帝即位,迁散骑常侍,右卫如故,移顿于新安寺。

Notes:
  1. See 中国古代同性恋排行榜 Who's Who among China's ancient homosexuals http://heritage.news.tom.com/1053/20041228-27015.html. The text of 《陈子高传》 has also been reproduced in 《情史》 (See http://pastbook.diy.myrice.com/story/rdonline/qingshi.htm

  2. 陈书·列传第十四 Book of Chen "Biographies No.14" http://www.guoxue.com/shibu/24shi/chensu/cs_020.htm

回目录

3.2. Gong Wei and Wang Qi

Excerpt from "The Teachings of Confucius, Chapter 10":1

The armies of Qi invaded the Kingdom of Lu. Gongshu Wuren (Gongwei, son of King Zhao) came across refugees entering the city of Bao. They were resting with their staffs across their backs. Wuren wept as he spoke, "Even now, our bureaucracy is weak, and the draft is a burden on the people, but the king who receives our taxes is unable to make plans and the soldiers are not willing to face death. Things should not be so. Since I have spoken thus, do I dare refuse to do all that I can?" Gongwei, with his boy-favorite Wang Qi beside him, rode to meet the enemy in his war chariot. The two died in battle and their wakes were held at the same time. The people of Lu considered not giving the lad Wang Qi a funeral. They consulted Confucius who said, "If someone can wield the lance to protect his country, how can you not give him a funeral?"

孔子家语 卷第十:

齐师侵鲁,公叔务人 (昭公之子公为) 遇人入保,负杖而息.(见先避入齐师将入保, 疲倦加杖颈 上两手掖之休息者也, 保县邑小城也) 务人泣曰:“使之虽病,谓时徭役任之虽重,谓时赋税君子弗能 谋,士弗能死,不可也,我则既言之矣,敢不勉乎.”与其邻嬖童2汪锜,乘?奔敌死焉,皆殡,鲁人欲勿殇童汪锜,问于孔子曰:“能执干戈以卫社稷,可无殇乎?”

This historical episode was also recorded in 《左传》, a book of the history of the Spring Autumn (春秋) period. The 《左传》 version contains more details of the battle, and less detail on the Wang Qi incident.3

Notes:
  1. 孔子家语 卷第十 The Teachings of Confucius, Chapter 10 http://book.myrice.com/yc/books/6/524/1/10.html

  2. 新华字典 defines 嬖 as 宠幸 (sexual favor) and 嬖人 as 旧指被封建统治者宠幸的人.

  3. Text of《左传》available at http://www.chnmus.net/book/zuozhuan/zhz012.htm .

回目录

3.3. The Lord of E and the man of Yue

The Garden of Persuasion 《說苑》, written by Liu Xiang 刘向 of the Western Han era, record a love poem sung by an unnamed oarsman of the Yue ethnic group to Lord E of the Chu Kingdom. This was the first recorded poem translation in Chinese history.1

Excerpt from the Essay Good Talkers from "The Garden of Persuasion":2

On the day Lord Xiang Chen received his fiefdom, he was dressed in green, carrying a jade sword and shod in white silk. He stood on the river bank with his advisors, who carried maces, and with the county chiefs... who gave command, shouting, "Who will ferry the lord across the river?" Zhuang Xin, court advisor of the Chu kingdom came by... and bowed down to pay his respects. Then he stood up and said, "Your subordinate would like to hold my lord's hand, is this permissible?"

Lord Xiang Chen appeared angry and did not speak. Zhuang Xin... then said, "Has my lord alone not heard of what happened when Zixi, the Lord of E, went on a boating trip? He rode in a green boat under an aquamarine canopy, dressed in gorgeous robes. While the lord was listening to the music of chimes and drums, an oarsman of Yue sang as he rowed. The song lyrics are, '.... (words in the language of Yue)'. Ziyi the Lord of E said, 'I do not understand the song of Yue. Will someone translate it into the language of Chu for me?' So he summoned an interpreter, who rendered the lyrics in the language of Chu:

What evening is this evening, that we have come to this island in the middle of the flowing river?

What day is this day, that I share a boat with the king's son?

I am covered with shyness at being desired but I will not speak in secret of shame.

The designs of my heart are stubborn and persistent, for I wish to know the king's son.

The mountains have trees and the trees have branches. You are the joy of my heart but you do not know!

"Then Zixi the Lord of E... came forward and embraced the oarsman, raised his embroidered blanket and covered him. Zixi the Lord of E is the younger brother of the mother of the King of Chu. His office is Chief Administrator and his noble title is zhigui, but he still found mutual pleasure and fulfillment with an oarsman of Yue. Today, why should my lord consider himself higher than Zixi the Lord of E, and why should your servant alone not be given the same regard as the oarsman? I wish to hold my lord's hand - why is this not permissible?"

Lord Xiangchen then offered him his hand and advanced him...

《說苑.善說篇.越人歌》:

襄成君始封之日,衣翠衣,带玉剑,履缟舄,立于游水之上,大夫拥钟锤,县令执桴号令,呼:“谁能渡王者于是也?”楚大夫庄辛,过而说之,遂造托而拜谒,起立曰:“臣愿把君之手,其可乎?”襄成君忿作色而不言。庄辛迁延沓手而称曰:“君独不闻夫鄂君子皙之泛舟于新波之中也?乘青翰之舟,极芘,张翠盖而犀尾,班丽褂衽,会钟鼓之音,毕榜枻越人拥楫而歌,歌辞曰:‘滥兮抃草滥予昌枑泽予昌州州●州焉乎秦胥胥缦予乎昭澶秦踰渗惿随河湖。’鄂君子皙曰:‘吾不知越歌,子试为我楚说之。’于是乃召越译,乃楚说之曰:‘今夕何夕搴中洲流,今日何日兮,得与王子同舟。蒙羞被好兮,不訾诟耻,心几顽而不绝兮,知得王子。山有木兮木有枝,心说君兮君不知。’于是鄂君子皙乃修袂,行而 拥之,举绣被而覆之。鄂君子皙,亲楚王母弟也。官为令尹,爵为执圭,一榜枻越人犹得交欢尽意焉。今君何以踰于鄂君子皙,臣何以独不若榜枻之人,愿把君之手,其不可何也?”襄成君乃奉手而进之,曰:“吾少之时,亦尝以色称于长者矣。未尝过僇如此之卒也。自今 以后,愿以壮少之礼谨受命。”

Later, people would use the expression 鄂君绣被 "The embroidered blanket of the Lord of E" to mean cherishing a homosexual partner.3

Notes:
  1. 最早的译诗

  2. 說苑.善說篇

  3. 中国古代同性恋排行榜 Who's who in China's homosexual history http://heritage.news.tom.com/1053/20041228-27015.html

回目录

《晏子春秋》 Spring and Autumn of Yanzi is said to be China's most ancient compilation of stories, and also the earliest biography. It records the undertakings of the sage Yanzi, who served as Prime Minister to three kings of Qi - Ling, Zhuang and Jing. The book was probably completed during the Warring States era. 1

These stories represent only a small segment of Chinese glbt history. For further reading, see:

暧昧的历程--中国古代同性恋史 (An ambiguous journey - the history of homosexuality in ancient China)

作者 (Author): 张在舟 著 (Zhang Zaizhou)

出版日期 (Publication Date): 2001-04

出版社 (Publisher): 中州古籍出版社 (Zhongzhou Ancient Books Publishing House) http://chinabooks.cnokay.com/pub_house/zhongzhou/

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I'm seeing big pores and mousy roots.
Hanna, I think it's a little too soon to joke.
I'm sorry, but if you're gonna cheat, you might as well do it with somebody who deep-conditions her hair occasionally.
Here, put something in your mouth besides your foot.
I'm sorry.
Okay? Look, all I'm saying is that when my dad left, laughing sometimes helped.
So did crying.
My father hasn't left, guys.
I mean, this happened over a year ago.
You think he's gonna leave? Look, whatever happens, we're here for you.
Thank you guys for staying here.
I couldn't have been here alone.
When's your family getting back? This afternoon.
Weren't you gonna clean off the mirror before they get here? Want me to come with? We should all go.
Uh, yeah, you know what? It doesn't take four of us to clean a mirror, so why don't you three go, and I'll just wait here.
- Fine.
- Ok.
You stay down here.
Alone.
But make sure you lock the door.
Great.
You spray, I'll wipe.
Well, the creature's back.
We should've never unblocked our phone.
Open the attachment.
That's us! Was that shot from inside your closet? "A" was watching us! Guys.
Check it out.
How do you not poke your eyeball? What's up? Uh, nothing.
Look, um are mom and dad acting weird with each other? What do you mean? I mean, I don't know.
There's a vibe.
Yeah, maybe.
Look, don't worry about it, okay? You're only gonna do one eye? Is that a new cyclops look? Listen, I can take them to practice if you want - I can do it.
- Well, I'm done by 3:00.
I'll do it.
Should we find someone to talk to? A counselor, therapist? You would feel more comfortable talking to a stranger in some office than you would in your own kitchen? Yeah, but we're not talking, Ella.
Are you done with this? See you later.
Bye.
See ya.
All right, tell me what I need to do to make this better.
Do you want me to move out? Don't make that my decision.
Well, do you think it would help? How, by making me deal with their confusion alone, or by making me the bad guy that kicked their dad out? Are they gonna be any less confused seeing us walk around here like sulky roommates? - We're not - Hey.
Do you want some breakfast? There's yogurt.
No, I'm I'm good with a granola bar.
I'm going to, uh, going to go to work.
I've got office hours.
Hey, good luck with that French test, sweetheart.
Look, Mike knows something's up.
Are you gonna tell him? Yeah.
You know, when I can.
Okay, well, just don't wait too long.
It was way too hard to keep it from you for a year.
I don't want to have to do that to him, too.
A year? You've known about this for a year? Yeah.
I thought dad He didn't tell you that he asked me to? Mom, I can miss first period if you want to talk.
It's okay.
This is between me and your dad.
Don't worry.
Need some help? Oh, hi.
Hey.
No, no, I got it.
Um, stupid shoe.
My mom forgot to mention the new job required a uniform, huh? No, it's cool.
I like it.
Hideous looks good on me.
- Listen, I tried - I know that Sorry.
What were you gonna say? I tried to take the fall for the car.
You did? Why? I felt really bad about what went down at Noel's party, so I told my parents I gave you the keys and I'd pay for the repairs.
No.
No, I should pay for the repairs.
It was my fault.
Besides, I think working in a dentist office will help me with my fear.
- Scared of dentists? - Children.
Your mom is making me hand out sugar-free lollypops to six-year-olds.
They don't bite at that age, do they? Look, I know that we haven't talked since that night, but since we are now, do you wanna talk about homecoming? I mean, do you still wanna go? You know, with me? I, uh, hadn't really thought about it.
Coach has us on a lot of two-a-days.
That's a lot of pressure.
And with everything else going on, I just - Yeah, no, I get it.
- No, well, we we should.
Talk about it.
I gotta go.
That's my ride.
You cannot seriously think that a blind girl broke into my house.
That would take a lot more than a talking GPS.
Well, I didn't say that Jenna was alone.
Let's no go to the Toby place, okay? Why not? You guys think her guide dog left behind his lipstick? Yeah, do you want to ask what your lab partner was doing last night? You know, maybe he took a break from sitting on his porch pulling the heads off of squirrels.
Spencer! Sorry, ladies, I didn't mean to interrupt, but I hope you're as proud of your friend as I am.
Congratulations.
My instincts were right.
This just makes it official.
What's that about? An essay contest.
Wait, did you win it? Aren't you gonna at least open the envelope? Why should she? She wins an award for waking up.
Sodium borate.
Easy.
That glass beaker's made of glass.
Maybe you should do it.
I've had too much coffee and not enough sleep.
Big party on a Thursday night? No, I slept at a friend's.
What did you do last night? Sat at the grill doing homework.
- That's where you study? - Got to.
Jenna listens to her lectures loudly, and it messes me up.
She doesn't like using her headphones at home.
Why the grill? It's not exactly quiet there, either.
It is if you stay late enough.
I close the place, like, every night.
So, whose house did you stay at last night? That new girl? Who, Maya? Why would you think that? Just figured that she's the newest member of your posse.
Has she learned the secret handshake yet? She's more my friend than the group's.
Why is that? She just cares about different things.
Different's good.
I like different.
This town has too much of the same.
Hey, there.
Hey.
I've been thinking about you.
Uh, how are things with your family? They're tense and getting worse.
Can you give me an excuse not to go home? Extra credit assignment or six-hour detention? Um I'm sorry, I actually can't stay late today.
Uh, I've got this thing.
Oh.
Well, no, it's it's not a thing.
It's just a, um thing.
A reading.
Of a story.
That I wrote.
You're reading it out loud? Can I come? You can, but if it sucks I'm going to hurt myself.
You'd be a witness.
It could get ugly.
You're the teacher.
I'm the student, remember? Do you like the color? Thank you.
Hey.
Those are for you.
Butter creams.
They're your favorite, right? Yeah, they were when I was, like, seven.
Thanks, daddy.
So, you finally spoke to Wren? No, but I spoke with Mr.
Sheldrake.
You didn't really think you were gonna be able to keep this essay secret, did you? Spencer, this is a coup for you.
I mean, if the ivies weren't onto you already, they are now.
I'm seeing a cage match between Harvard and Yale.
Dad, it's really not that big of a deal.
Oh, now you tell me.
Your mother's already taken out a full-page ad in the club newsletter.
I'm kidding.
Come on.
Have a butter cream.
I'm proud of you, Spence.
At least let me brag about you tomorrow.
What's tomorrow? I'm taking Russell Newhoff to the club.
He's a potential new client.
You up for playing doubles if he brings his daughter along? Sure! Hey, you want to volley with me? Oh, I'd love to, but I have a bunch of calls to return, and a prize-winning essay to read.
Don't forget to put it on my desk, okay? Oh, dad, I you don't have to read this one.
It's really not one of my best.
Somebody sure thought it was.
They don't give these awards to people who don't deserve them.
Hello, dental office.
Just a minute, please.
Hello? Can I help you? No.
No, I was just, um, looking for a place to toss medical waste.
Must be a different floor.
Thanks for your help.
I didn't think this would take so long.
I don't mind.
I like being in school when nobody else is.
Viscosity, elasticity, and tensile strength.
Anything else we need to cover? Maybe our noses.
This stuff's rank.
Oh, God! I'm so sorry.
It's just water.
Did you draw this? It looks just like the cover from this band, circus survive.
This is so good.
You know that band? My cousin works at a bar on south street.
He snuck me into a show.
Have you heard any of their new stuff yet? It's totally Amazing.
If if you're into them, there's this other band I should turn you onto.
I'll burn you a cd.
Thanks.
I should go.
I'm gonna be late for swim practice.
Um, Emily? Yeah? My notebook.
Oh, jeez.
I totally need more sleep.
Or more coffee.
Wanna meet up at the grill later? Sure.
"And in an instant, her life was undone.
Everything she'd known disappeared, drifting into the summer sky.
" Thank you.
Yeah! He doesn't suck, huh? You know this guy? Yeah.
He's my English teacher.
Oh, very cool.
Me and him go way back.
We used to sleep together.
Bunk beds! College.
Do you have a name, fangirl? - Oh, Aria.
- Hardy.
What the hell are you doing here? Well, I thought I'd get some face time with the president of your fan club, apparently.
You two know each other? Yeah, well, not as well as you two know each other.
I, uh, I heard about the bunk beds.
We just met, but I'm glad I sat next to her.
She kept kicking me so I wouldn't snore.
No, no, no, seriously, how did you know about this? I don't live in a cave.
I saw it on the website, thought it was my duty to come heckle you.
I think I should be in a cave.
Was it really that bad? No, it was beautiful.
And that metaphor at the end? - That was a metaphor? - I thought it was really about a kid who lost her balloon.
You also thought Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang was Mexican porn.
That's true.
Books aren't his thing, you know? He used to pay me in frozen burritos to write his papers.
What'd be great is if you told this same lame story while I had a beer in my hand.
I'm grabbing a waitress.
I didn't know he was gonna be here.
Whoa.
Good serve.
Listen, hate to interrupt, be we're kind of closed.
I was supposed to shut down the courts like ten minutes ago.
Seriously? Um, can you just give me another five minutes? Are you practicing for a tournament or something? No, um.
No, it's just a friendly game of doubles with my dad and some guests.
Well, you and I have very different ideas of what's friendly.
That's an angry serve.
Well, it's been a long week.
Kind of been storing it up.
A strong slice is only half the battle.
You've got to kill it on the return, too.
Well, I'm just warming up.
So I hook up with her in the library, but you can't get serious in the sociology stacks, right? So I take her back to my dorm room.
I can't believe you're telling this story.
Let him finish.
I want to hear.
She wants to hear! So, I get her back.
You know, he's sound asleep, of course.
I get her shirt off, things are happening, life is good, and then this geek, right here, starts laughing in his sleep.
Now, he's done this before, but this chick, she does not believe that he's asleep.
I was.
You laugh in your sleep? - Mm-hmm.
- That's cute.
It's better than snoring.
Right.
Uh, you were up.
Ah, no.
It's her turn.
Take it for me.
I'm gonna grab some water.
Dude, you are so screwed.
It it's not what you think it is.
Don't give me that look.
I didn't pursue this.
It just happened.
And that makes it okay? - Hardy - Ezra, she's cute.
She's smart.
I get it.
There's no argument, but she's your student, man.
- That's not how I met her.
- it doesn't matter.
When this is all over, she's gonna get her diploma.
You're gonna get a pink slip and an orange jumpsuit.
Okay, so how about this? The loser of the next game buys fries? Sweet.
Give it up.
You in? Thanks for this.
I'm having fun.
Yeah, me too.
- Here you go.
- Here, I'll go.
Sorry I'm late.
Boss got chatty when they dropped the check.
But I only ate one lamb chop.
The rest are yours.
What are we looking at? The worst part of my day.
You know, I thought it bottomed out when a kid aimed at me for a rinse-and-spit, but now there's an Amber.
What's an Amber? Amber is "a cheerleader at rollins high who loves skinny lattes.
" See for yourself.
She's cute.
She's trying to date Sean.
She's evil.
We know this for a fact? Well, she's suddenly become his personal driver and God knows what else.
Mm.
Driving is not dating.
Eat.
Mom! Why are you feeding me when my boyfriend left me for someone who weighs 11 pounds? He hasn't left you.
His car's in the shop.
So why can't he hitch a ride with someone who's not majoring in cartwheels? I am sorry that you don't have a car of your own to drive.
But you'll have to talk to your father about that.
No, thanks.
Besides, he's probably already picked one for Kate.
Kate? Thought her name was Isabel.
That's the mother.
The girlfriend.
The fiancée.
He's marrying her? Yeah, I found that out before I went to Spencer's last night.
I didn't see you this morning, so I thought it'd be kind of weird to text you.
Yeah.
That would've been weird.
Thanks.
Still, I'd rather hear it from you than from him.
I'm not surprised.
We've both moved on.
Try the broccoli.
It's delicious.
I saved it.
Just in case.
I'm telling you, that's the lipstick Jenna was putting on in the elevator.
Are you sure? Yes! That's Alison's color.
Same shade, same tube.
What I'm wondering is why was Jenna in an empty room for an hour? I think we should call the police.
There are fingerprints on this tube.
Well, yeah, ours.
We don't wanna answer any more questions.
Let me get in the office and see what I can find.
Have you gotten any more e-mails? Not since this morning.
Have you? No.
I'm just wondering.
Emily! Hey, what are you doing here? Uh, just Hey, Hanna had a run-in with Jenna Marshall today.
Sit down.
You know that dentist office I'm working at? Well, I was going in for my shift after school, and I was in the elevator.
Jenna Marshall was in there.
She had the same lipstick Ali wore.
The exact same color.
She had the same lipstick as Ali.
She had Alison's lipstick.
She was putting it on.
So, are all college boys like the ones in that bar? Is it possible to say hello to a guy without putting them in a headlock? Well, maybe when you go to college, you'll find out for yourself.
Okay, stop.
Did Hardy say something about us or about me? No, why would he? I was just having fun at a bar with a high school student.
You make it sound so awful.
Well, maybe it is.
I mean, if you think about it Well, why? Was I acting like a high school girl? Did I do anything to embarrass you? Look, have I ever done that? No, it's not about that.
Okay, then what is it about? I mean, is this Hardy's problem, or is it yours? Where did this come from? Age is never an issue when we're together.
When it's just the two of us, but when we're out in the world, people notice.
No, Hardy noticed.
Look, he's your friend, and if you're okay with it, I really doubt it's gonna bother him.
Aria, let's get real.
In theory, we are a lot more wrong than we are right.
You wanna be real? Forget about theory.
What does it feel like when we're together? Good.
It feels right.
I wanna be with you.
I wanna hang out in a bar, introduce you to my friends, split a plate of fries like everybody else, but I don't think we can do that.
When I'm with you, I don't care about anybody else.
So, are you talking yourself into this or out of it? Yes! N no! Maybe.
So? Let's review.
Look, we're here now, and it's just the two of us and it feels good.
So let's not care together.
Where you going? I have an early tennis day with my dad, and I have no idea what I'm gonna wear.
There, um, may be this boy Boy! What boy? Details! Well, there's none yet, but I'll keep you guys posted.
Are you Emily? No.
Em? Someone left this for you.
Pretty.
Who made that? Somebody from school.
Well, whoever made it must like you a lot.
No, we were just talking about this band we both like.
Is it from somebody you like back? Sorry.
You don't have to tell me anything.
But, Em if there's someone in your life who cares about you, then I'm happy for you.
No matter who they are.
Bye.
Wait.
You sure you have to go? Yeah.
Yeah, it was so weird when I left home this morning.
I'm not really sure what I'm gonna walk into.
I liked having you here.
Well, I didn't say I wasn't coming back.
What if I cook us dinner tomorrow night? Oh, you cook? Yeah.
How do you feel about enhanced macaroni and cheese? Uh, frightened.
What do you mean by "enhanced"? Well, it means I'm cooking fettuccini, but I don't want you to get your hopes up.
Hey, champ.
How was practice yesterday? Good.
I'm ready to bury them.
Heh, yeah.
You know, about that.
You might want to keep it friendly on the court, okay? Why does everyone think I'm unfriendly? I'm serious, Spence.
Turns out Newhoff and his daughter aren't exactly Venus and Serena, so just dial it back a bit.
But, dad, I was out there for five hours yesterday swatting balls.
Well, good, then you'll hopefully be a little sore.
Are you asking me to throw the match? Spencer, I'm asking you to just look at this as a means to an end, okay? If he wins, I win.
Got it? Easy! Ah, Martha.
You're here.
Next time, just push the button.
Excuse me? Push the button.
That tells me you're here.
- Okay.
- Since it's your first visit, there's some paperwork.
Why don't you fill it out in my office? I'm still renovating out here.
Please, have a seat.
Phillip said this was your first time.
You'll be fine.
Let me grab a new patient file, and we can get started.
Psychotherapy.
You're her therapist.
You just said her therapist.
Martha, is there someone else joining us today? Is everything all right? Martha doesn't want therapy.
Martha has to go.
Okay, I told you something was up.
Can you hear them? Look, whatever it is, it's not about us.
How do you know? I just do.
Look, go get your stuff.
We'll go to the library.
We'll study there, okay? Yeah, but for how long? Just get your stuff.
She lives in this town.
I have to see her.
I have to talk to her.
I befriended this woman.
- Ella, trust me.
It is over.
- Trust you?! She means nothing to me, and I'm not gonna let her take away from me what matters most.
And what is it that matters to you? Because clearly it is not us.
Do you want me to find another job teaching at a different college? Do you want to pick up and move again? Because I will.
I'll do that.
Is that what Iceland was all about? Yeah.
In a way, it was, because I wanted things to be the way they used to be with us.
And how was that, me looking like a complete and total idiot because look at this.
Look at this stupidly happy woman standing next to her loving husband.
What am I supposed to do with all these family photos - of our romantic trip abroad? - Stop that! Stop it.
What happened with her was a mistake.
What I know is that you used our daughter to hide this from me.
How could you do that to her? I don't even know who you are! I panicked.
I thought I didn't have another choice.
I was scared.
I was afraid I would lose you.
You just might.
Mission accomplished.
You have a question? No.
We'll meet you in the lobby, okay? Hey.
Did you waste your real game yesterday? What? No, I was just off.
No, you weren't, not when the match started.
Look, it's a long story, and it was important for our guests to win.
And so the only way for you to do that was for you to lose? What's up with that? Did your dad ask you to do that, or Look, he's not always like this.
Whatever you say.
I just I see a lot of it here.
Lot of what? People playing games just off the court, you know? Yeah.
Hey Is there any chance you'd want to hang out sometime? Like, not here? Yeah.
Okay.
Bye.
Bye.
Hanna, do you want these? I wore them once.
They gave me a nosebleed.
I think they're a little too dressy for a dental office.
Well, you've got some events coming up.
What are you wearing to homecoming? Mom, I don't know if I'm going to homecoming.
Of course you're going.
If you're breathing, you're going.
What's up? You still haven't heard from Sean? He said we'd talk, but it hasn't happened, so I'm just giving him space.
Aw.
Don't give him too much.
I tried that with your father.
He found a woman in Maryland who graduated with honors from William and Mary and loves to golf.
How do you know that? I Googled her.
I'm so sorry, mom.
No I'm sorry.
I'm the last person who should be giving anyone relationship advice.
I had too much pride to tell your father that I wanted him back.
And now Maybe you can wear these to his wedding.
On the links.
Please tell me you have a really deep pan, and please tell me I left my phone here.
You did.
Ezra.
What's wrong? I was trying to work and it kept buzzing.
I thought it was an emergency, your parents or something, so I looked at it, um Just take it.
Who's "a"? I don't know.
How many of your friends did you tell? I didn't.
'Cause if "a" knows, I'm thinking "b" and "c" and everybody else knows, too.
The person who sent this is not my friend.
You told me you were mature enough to handle this.
Do you know what would happen if the school board or anybody I didn't tell anyone.
You have to believe me.
Well, I don't.
Just go.
Go! Now.
Uh, no, I left something at my desk this morning.
Excuse me.
Yeah.
How much does he want? For two tickets? I didn't pay that much to see Lionel Richie when he was Lionel Richie.
Hanna? Hi.
Are you, uh, working today? Um, I did, yeah.
What are you doing here? My mom left some insurance papers on the desk.
They won't release my car until Wait, you're getting it back? Yeah, on Monday.
So, you won't need anyone to drive you around anymore? You know, someone else? Um, that's sort of the plan.
Great! Well, um, I'll see you later.
All right.
See ya.
Are we over? What? Look, I'd rather you just tell me now before it's too late.
What's too late? What are you talking about? If you want to take someone else to homecoming, Sean, you should.
Why would I do that? It's not like I'd actually go with anyone else.
So what are you doing with that skinny latte who drives you around? Amber? No, she just drives me to school for our meetings.
This club I joined.
R.
L.
W.
Stands for " real love waits.
" Go ahead.
Make a joke.
Is it some kind of holy-roller virgin society? Look, I just thought hanging out with other people who feel the same way as I do will make it easier to hold out, you know? No, I get it.
Could I go with you to the next meeting? Why? You wanna join? Well, we already tried doing it my way, so let's try now doing it your way.
Excuse me.
Don't tell me that's how you want to celebrate with a pear? Put that away! You deserve a three-course meal tonight.
- Think I'll pass.
- Pass? Honey, you're the guest of honor.
You won a national award and helped me sign Newhoff, which almost didn't happen.
Why, didn't I hit the net enough? No, you were perfect, but things almost fell apart while you guys were in the locker room.
What happened? Oh, well, he expected lunch at the club.
Of course, I didn't make a reservation, so there were no tables.
We sat at your favorite table.
After I made a scene.
I had to tell the manager that the kid on the courts forgot to call it in.
Who, Alex? Wait, will he be in trouble over this? Who cares? Kid can pick up balls anywhere, right? We snagged a major client, Spence.
Why are you looking at me like that? Just did what I had to do.
To win? Don't give me that attitude.
Spencer, you're just as driven and competitive as I am.
Don't pretend you're not.
You know what? You're right.
I am.
I'm just not sure it's a thing that I want to celebrate anymore.
And by the way, you don't have to read my essay.
Why not? Because I stole it.
But I'm gonna win a big, fat award, so I'm guessing you're okay with that.
You know, 'cause winning's all that matters, right? Hey.
I was hoping you'd be here.
Why? I really like tracks three, seven, and nine.
Nine was the best.
And I'm sorry about last night.
Really sorry.
What's that? Something I made for you.
There are a couple girly songs, so you have to keep an open mind.
Coffee, please.
Hey.
Hey.
You ready? Yeah.
Cool, then.
Let's go.
Okay.
What is this? Dinner.
Is mom still in her room? Yeah.
And dad? Do you think they're gonna work this out? I really don't know.


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